more of my own writing...

Naked Video Games

There’s me and you. But you’re with her.
And I’m here pushing another one away.
Cold hands in yours so warm, not mine
not tonight. But once they were. And where
was she the night you held onto me?
But now you and she are there, and I’m here.

So loyal to her yet I am this pull on you.
I should walk away, not wait.
Maybe you would come, with nothing broken,
unlike the breaks in me, she can only bend you.
And then we could be.

We keep scaling mountains.
It’s hard not to get left behind. It’s too cold here
frost bites the flowers, and they die before their time.
Upon re-warming, there is no re-awakening.
The petals unfreeze, fall, forgotten.
I freeze and fall and wait for you.

The peak will be even colder, I am
exposed, except one useless glove
the other lost somewhere; I imagine it still with him.
Wouldn’t keep me. He can keep the glove,
buried in the closet under stuffed bears—
ghosts of relationships past.
I won’t be there to take it back.

I needed gloves with him, the way I don’t with you
But you have travelled into love where I cannot go.
This hurting never hurts any less.
I can get over anything, except
it seems, maybe, you.
So I continue this climb.

You and I should be one, but three will never do.
I cannot say I loved him.
So I won’t let myself love you. But if I did love him,
I can see myself falling into loving you.

If I hang on to you, the something I can’t have
Then there will never be another him,
No pain for me, no more mountain climb.