getting closer...

Oh Vegas, here I come!
It's kinda cool too. I had a midterm this week. And now I get to relax poolside and go out and finally have some nice warm weather.

I wanted to find something literary pertaining to Vegas...

I found nothing. But I am not sure what else to write this week as I am busy trying to finish up work and get home and pack I haven't had time to write anything new or read anything. Or even think up older stuff to discuss...I will be better once I'm back from vaca.

Vegas Baby

I am going to Las Vegas on spring break. Woooo! Three of my girlfriends and I are going. It should be awesome.
I leave the 31st, this Saturday and stay till the Wednesday, the 4th. One of my friends has been she said we don't need more than 4 days because Vegas gets a little insane.
Although, I have no intention of any wrong doings. And I guess if I did I wouldn't post that in here...
That will change my schedule for blogging. I can do one weds when I get home and then thurs fri and sat I guess. I will be going straight back to work so I think it should be ok...

Those will most likely be short posts.

I have been trying

to write this blog sort of regularly Mon-Thurs, while at work cause I have a little bit of time in between things to get this done. But I must say, even though I would have considered myself a writer not too long ago it's really hard to write something here 4 times a week.
I wonder what it's like for people who don't like writing?
Maybe I'm just not really a writer anymore...

It's funny to see the times I post these everyday. You can sort of tell the week I am having by how early or late I get to these posts...

why is it

that when we know we have a million other things to do something really useless and something that you normally would never want to do suddenly become the things you really want to do?

I have a paper to write, I am looking at my desk thinking it's dusty and that I should clean it.

This is not literary.

But it was on my mind, and is technically my own writing.

Perhaps I should add a random thoughts section here...

Do I look like a librarian?

Jane Austen, Romantic Feminism, and Civil Society

In her novels, Jane Austen may seem to be reinforcing the societal norms of women’s roles of her time by showing women primarily in the domestic sphere. Many of her protagonists are almost entirely concerned with who and how they will marry. However, Gary Kelly argues that her writing was a form of feminism, not for now, but of the time at which she lived. He claims that, “she participated in a feminism conditioned by the circumstances of what has come to be called the Romantic period … this was the role of women in creating and sustaining civil society in the aftermath of a political, social, and cultural cataclysm” (Kelly 19).
The French Revolution had a massive impact on all of the Romantics. The influence it had over Austen that is reflected in her novels is that of the changing social sphere, the decrease of the courtly system and the rise of a middle class, of which Austen and her readers were members. It was in the redefining of civil society that Austen’s novels and her Feminism lay, because according to Kelly, the redefinition relied largely on the roles of women. He says this is most shown in Persuasion, showing the upper class as greatly flawed and unable to see past the ideas of class. The people in the novel that she does not criticize are the navel officers and their wives, the professionals, which would have been of the same class she inhabited. This is also a civil society inhabited by women as well as men, and while they are still domestic they are seen as very important.
He states that Austen in showing women in the roles society assigned to them, she, “both represented and exemplified the power of women to create and sustain civil society, if given appropriate opportunity to do so”(Kelly 32). This may present a problem for current feminists, but Kelly writes that it is a function of feminism to see not only what is going on in the present but to see the past feminism in its own context and how it was shaped by both individuals and the collective of the time period.

Drive

I wrote this a long time ago...

Drive


Whenever I am with you,
I’m stuck straddling the line.
We fall somewhere
between drunk and sober.
I want to drink too much of you.
But you only give what you want
So I take what I can get.

You can take me.
That isn’t what you want
I’m not what you want.
I’m still blurring the line,
and you’re never clear.

I’ve been trying to span this distance
But it takes more than I have
So, I wait and drink
‘till I can’t drive.
(I couldn’t leave sober.)

I want you to
drive me
away.

Secresy

Eliza Fenwick’s epistolary novel, Secrecy tells the story of Sibella Valmont, an orphan who has been raised by her stern uncle, Valmont. He raises her almost entirely in seclusion, he lives in a castle surrounded by a moat, and Sibella is not allowed off the castles grounds. Her only companion is Clement, Valmont’s adopted son, who we will come to learn is actually his illegitimate son. Clement and Sibella love each other, and Valmont it would seem does not approve so he sends Clement from the castle and orders them to love each other as siblings and nothing more. Sibella’s only friend and communication with the outside world is Caroline Ashburn.
Caroline and Clement have a mutual friend in a Mr. Murden. They both extol Sibella’s virtues so ardently that it piques Murden’s interest and he finds himself falling in love with the idea of her. During this same time Clement is recalled to the castle where Valmont once again orders him and Sibella to love each other only as siblings. Clement tells Valmont he will. Sibella then decides that they will marry each other; of course locked in a castle they cannot have an actual marriage ceremony, so they instead have sex and Sibella considers herself married to Clement, he however does not agree. She drops her surname of Valmont in all her subsequent letters, Clement, still writes to Murden that he will make her his wife, not that he already has. It is the secrecy of this act that gives the novel its title. Sibella becomes pregnant, a fact that is hidden until the very end.
Murden in the meantime has hidden himself in the hermitage on the castle’s grounds in order to catch a glimpse of Sibella. None of his friends in society know where he is. He appears before her and she believes him an apparition. He falls very deeply into love with her. He then writes to Caroline and explains the situation. Caroline believes that Sibella loves Clement out of habit and of not knowing any better so she decides to orchestrate their getting together. Unfortunately no one knows of Sibella’s pregnancy at this time. Valmont shares his guardianship of Sibella with another, an Earl who has lost his fortune and decides that it would be beneficial if his son, Lord Filmar were to marry Sibella. Valmont refuses. However this does not stop Filmar’s pursuit. He visits the castle but is denied an audience with Sibella. He then devises a plan where he would remove her from the castle, but when he is executing it he runs into Murden and also believes him to be a ghost and is scared off his plan.
Sibella is unaware that she is actually her father’s heir and a very rich woman. Her uncle let her believe that she has no money of her own and is dependant on him. Murden overhears Lord Filmar discussing her wealth and tells her that she is actually not dependant on anyone. When she confronts Valmont, who must at this point know Sibella is pregnant, he locks her away and denies her even Caroline’s correspondence. Caroline then devises a plan by which Murden will help her escape using the hermitage he had been using. Their plan works, except Murden goes into shock over seeing Sibella pregnant. And then she in an effort to get to Clement escapes him and goes with Lord Filmar. Caroline finally tracks her down and brings Sibella to her house. However, by this time Clement has married Caroline’s mother for her money after being cut off by Valmont. Sibella learns this and has her baby, which is stillborn. Murden then dies, still in shock over Sibella’s pregnancy, and Sibella soon follows.

Harry Potter Part 2

Books are such an important part of my life I had forgotten how much I miss having time to read in my focus on the chaos that I have going on right now.
I have pre-ordered the book.
I remember how much I wanted to read the fifth one before it came out. But, I watched the second movie and realized I barely remembered the details of the previous books. So, while still in Albany I re-read the first four books.
I did a full-time internship at a newspaper my final semester of undergrad, thinking, obviously that I wanted to be a journalist when I grew up, (I've changed that just a bit since graduating...). My only problem with this job was that, actually two problems, I realized I didn't like journalism, especially political journalism as every time I went to a press conference I left feeling dirty, but more on topic to this particular blog, I had to stay in Albany until the legislative session was over, a full month and a half after graduating and all of my friends moving home.
I had to move into the apartment of a co-worker I didn't particularly like. She was filthy, I spent my first few days cleaning while crying. Everyone else had gone home. I liked most of my co-workers but not enough to make them my entire social circle. I think that if, during those few weeks there, my cell phone had broken I would have lost my entire mind.
This is not to mention that my grandmother died on my graduation day.
But, here I was, few friends, no family, in Albany, my home for the past four years but different now that I am alone. My boyfriend moved home, which meant that were to be the long distance couple that ended up breaking up. It was sad.
And, now you're asking what does this have to do with Harry Potter?
Well, in that month I worked waiting for the session to end, I re-read the first four Harry Potter books, and then re-read The Hobbit and a bunch of other novels. And before I knew it the month was over and I could re-join my life. And in doing all the reading I got to escape from feeling lonely. And I think it helped that Harry Potter books create a whole new world that I could get lost in.

time time time

I know I've said this before but I didn't mean to start a literary blog during the first time in my life when I haven't had the time to pick up a non-school book and read it...what are the odds of that? It's disapointing...normally I'd have had tons to say on all the books I'm devouring...but now all I have to say are recycled thoughts on books I read a year ago...It's sad.

Harry Potter

Have I mentioned on here my deep love for Harry Potter?

I am very excited by the new book coming out...

I've got to remember to pre-order it soon. And because I ordered my books for this semester on Amazon.com using my Amazon credit card I got a $25 back coupon for spending x (I don't remember what the amount was, besides this isn't an ad for chase) on the amazon website...pretty cool...it will make the book free...I should go do that now...

songs

I would consider myself a literary purist, however I think that music, even occassionally including pop music, can be poetry.

This being said, it's almost a cliche at this point, but I'm in a bad mood, so here are the lyrics to hurt, by trent reznor


I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

[Chorus:]
What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here

[Chorus:]
What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

I think this speaks for itself...

toothpastefordinner.com

I had forgotten in my last post that I had already posted the villanelle that I had written after reading "One Art" it would have made more sense to post her poem before mine, or at the very least in sequence with each other. I was re-reading my earlier posts today in search of a topic I have not yet covered and had this realization. But, it is what it is and there's no need to change it.
I go through phases of which authors I am obsessed with reading. I guess I am re-reading her stuff right now because I feel like I don't have time to invest in a new novel, so re-reading shorter poems makes me feel like I'm still somewhat literary but without investing time that I don't have.

More Elizabeth Bishop

Hopefully whoever is reading this is loving her as much as I do...otherwise this might be sort of boring...


One Art
The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

---Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.

No time...

Lately, I feel like I have no time to do any of the things I want to do. With my undergraduate degree, I had all the time in the world to read whatever I wanted, and for class and write my own stuff along with essays. This was mostly because so many of my classes were creative writing classes.
Now there are so many things I still want to read and even ideas of things I want to write but I never have time. Between work and these classes I feel like there's not time.
I really only feel this way because I want to read Stephen King's Dark Tower series because my friend is, but it's a long series and I don't have the time to make that kind of reading commitment. I think if I started to read it and liked it then I'd end up not reading for classes, which right now is more important.

An Essay on Insomnia

After reading "Insomnia" again I went back to my work from that semester and found an essay I wrote on it and decided to post it here because I really feel that poem is so moving and deserves an extra look. Plus I claimed this was a literary blog, so here's a literary critique.

The speaker of “Insomnia” by Elizabeth Bishop, is a person who is lying awake at night, thinking of an unrequited love. The speaker is watching the moon as reflected in her mirror. Interestingly it is only in the last line of the poem that the speaker addresses herself by using the word, “me” and then the reader can see that the speaker is identifying with the moon. This late use of personal pronouns is fairly common in Bishop’s poems. Because the moon is female it makes the reader view the speaker as female. The poem uses very basic diction, but the images and figures of speech are much more complex than the language used would seem. There are perfectly rhyming lines, but they do not seem to fit into any pattern, it is similar to a sonnet in that the last two lines rhyme, however, there are 18 lines not the usual 14 for a sonnet. The rhyming is subtle enough that the language of the poem still seems very natural and not overly poetical.
The speaker personifies the moon in the first lines of the poem, “The moon in the bureau mirror / looks out a million miles / (and perhaps with pride, at herself, / but she never, never smiles)” (1-4). The speaker is thinking that the moon is not just a reflection but a female who is admiring herself in the mirror. The moon has become another woman, with pride, but she does not smile, she is not happy. The moon, by being up at night with the speaker, connects the poem with the title, “Insomnia” either the moon or the speaker, or both are suffering from it. “far and away beyond sleep, or / perhaps she's a daytime sleeper.” (5-6). The fact that the speaker and the moon are both up at night, when most others presumably are not gives the speaker a sense of alliance with the moon.
“By the Universe deserted, / she'd tell it to go to hell,” (8-9). Here, because the moon is alone at night, like the speaker, the speaker sees it as abandoned by the universe. This is more personification of the moon and the whole universe. The moon was clearly not abandoned, it is out at night for the same reason the sun is visible during the day, so it is more likely that the speaker was actually abandoned by someone and is personifying the moon to be in a similar position as herself. The speaker is imagining in these lines that the moon is a scorned woman, but that she is strong and the type of woman who would tell the person, or in this case the universe to go to hell. By putting “she’d” in italics the way she does, the speaker is implying that others, most likely herself, would not be strong enough to do the same to someone who had abandoned them.
The speaker then imagines, “and she'd find a body of water, / or a mirror, on which to dwell.” (10-11). This image is similar to the beginning lines where the moon is looking at her reflection. The last part of these lines is the most interesting, the speaker thinks the moon would find something reflecting to, “dwell” on. She would not go out and meet someone new; she would focus on her own image. This makes the reader wonder, what is the alternative? What is the speaker doing, if not telling whoever it is that wronged her to go to hell? She imagines the moon being strong enough to tell someone off and then be satisfied on her own; perhaps something she does not feel herself capable of doing.
Imagery of reflection and inversion play a large role in this poem. The last two lines of the second stanza and the whole third stanza are the speaker imagining a different sort of world. It is a sort of dream world where things are backwards. Mirror images are inverted so the moon looking at itself in the mirror is seeing itself reversed. The speaker says:
So wrap up care in a cobweb
and drop it down the well

into that world inverted
where left is always right,
where the shadows are really the body,
where we stay awake all night,
where the heavens are shallow as the sea
is now deep, and you love me. (11-18).

The last line of the second stanza is enjambed with the third stanza, connecting them. The speaker is addressing a person in these lines, presumably the person who left her. These last lines explain why the speaker wants to moon to be a woman abandoned, because the speaker is in love with someone who does not love her—except in this mirror image world. It is interesting however; that the speaker is asking the person to send his cares into that alternate world. The rest of these lines describe a dream place where everything is backwards. “where we stay awake all night,” (16) this line is not referring to the insomnia the speaker is suffering from now, but rather the two people staying awake all night, together. This is the first time in the poem someone other than the moon is addressed, but it is not until the last line that the speaker mentions herself. Although the speaker does not directly refer to herself throughout the poem she is still a very large presence throughout.
This poem uses simple words, or diction, rhyme and personification to create complex imagery that is both profound and beautiful.